There is the idea that men want sex and only sex. This is not true. Men want sex, of course. But more than that, they want an adventure. Men want sex when sex promises them an adventure they won't forget in a hurry. This is why they turn to pornography and are more likely to seek sex with women who look “bad”. The tricky part is that men need constant adventure. Then. A man who feels enthusiastic enough today may be very bored tomorrow. Luckily, there will always be signs. Here are some signs that you are sexually bored.

1. Sex feels like routine

What seems like a routine will become very boring eventually, even sex.

What routines do is make us feel tired and worn out. We begin to feel that something we once loved has become a chore. A duty that we just have to fulfill.

When it gets to this point, your man is definitely bored.

He's just having sex with you so he doesn't look like a bad guy.

It has happened to quite a few men.

Here are the stories of five men who admit to feeling similar when they started to lose that sense of fun in sex: When they got bored

“I began to feel that sex had to happen. Not because I loved it, but because it would be rude to deny my wife something she wanted.”

– Sam.

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“I would look at the time and say, ‘Wow. Nine o'clock now. I guess it's time to have sex now.”

– Pig

“I would sigh as the clock approached midnight, knowing I had to have sex. I just didn't love having sex.”

– Kai

Read: Indicators of relationship exhaustion in your partner

2. You have too many excuses

Five men told us this about the excuses they give when they think sex is getting boring.

“I made so many excuses that I started to feel like I was a horrible person, and maybe I was.”

– Tunji

“Some of my most common excuses were, “I'm tired. I don't know what my day will be like tomorrow, so I guess it's best to sleep.”

– Rick

I think I'm getting sick.”

– Donald

“I don't think I'll be able to keep up. I can barely breathe.”

– Harald


– Cough

These are all common excuses that women hear from time to time.

If you notice that your boyfriend is giving you more and more excuses, it means that something is wrong.

He's getting really bored of having sex with you.

3. You are bored too

You can often tell how your partner feels by being very honest about how you feel too.

Many women agree that they can tell their partners are bored with sex when they are bored too.

More than half of these women admit that this sudden loss in the sex career has something to do with them, with something they are doing wrong or not even doing.

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Three women tell us how they could say:

“I could tell I wanted to have sex. But for some reason, I wasn't expecting to have sex. I feel like that was one of the first signs that me and my partner were getting bored. We just didn't feel like having sex anymore.”

– Administration

I could tell something was wrong. So bad, I could never feel the same way about sex. It wasn't because I lost feelings for him or loved sex less. It was something I still can't put my finger on. Boredom, maybe. It just has to be that.”

– Sophie

“It's something I laugh about now that I know what was wrong. I was sexually bored, and the truth is that he was sexually bored too. It's something we see a lot in relationships, especially when you've just started living with your partners” .

“I should go.”

If you can relate to any of the things these women told us, chances are your mind is bored with sex.

Need I remind you that a bored man might be forced to seek adventure elsewhere? Stay tuned for our next article: How to Fix a Sexually Bored Man.

4. Can we hug?

Men know that a woman who loves them makes them the object of all her attention and affection, so these men are very careful not to hurt their woman's feelings.

Knowing that he might be hurt if he says no to sex with you so many times, he will try to make you feel better by offering you an alternative to sex.

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One he imagines he'll really love.

“Can we hug instead?” is something you're going to hear a lot when your mind starts to find sex pretty boring.

You'll hear it so many times that it becomes one of those phrases that really annoys you.

Bonnie told us:

He said it so much that I started to hate hugs. I immediately knew she was going to say, “Can we hug instead?” whenever I wanted to have sex with him. So I didn't bother.”

5. You just moved in together

Another sign that you and he are getting bored of sex is that you both recently moved in together. The issue of being sexually bored is one that I find very common in couples who have just moved in.

This is especially true if you are both new or the relationship is in its earlier stages.

This is because when both partners have recently moved in, they tend to explore all their sexual fantasies too soon, exhausting all the other things that could greatly improve their sex lives.


People get bored from time to time. It shouldn't affect the quality of your relationship. You should look for ways to restore the fun around sex.

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