Many girls and boys are in situations with their partners, but they mistake these for real relationships. We know this for a fact because we get emails and lots of questions about how to tell if one is in a situation. In this article, we explain the signs that you are in a situation, not in a relationship.

1. Definition

Basically, relationships are better defined than situations.

People who are in relationships know about their relationships because at some point their partners asked them to be in a relationship with them.

If your partner has not in any way or at any time specifically asked you to be a part of their lives or to be in a relationship with them, then it is safe to say that you are in a situation because you assumed that what you had going on was a true committed relationship.

A situation is an ambiguous romantic connection that lacks clear commitment. In it, one or both partners assume they are in a relationship without defining the terms of their relationship.

Most people in situations make the assumption mistake.

When it comes to love and dating, relationships and marriage, nothing runs on the wheels of assumption.

If they have never asked you to be in a relationship with them, then you are obviously not in a relationship; you are in a rather complex situation.

2. Commitment

There are times when a relationship can turn into a situation. This happens quite a lot and often the partner in the relationship doesn't even know it happened.

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One of the telltale signs that a relationship has turned into a situation is that the commitment leaves.

And commitment usually starts to come out on an emotional level. It starts with the emotional separation of one partner from the other partner, and then becomes more of a physical detachment, where the other partner feels comfortable enough to sleep with someone outside the relationship.

The relationship then becomes a situation.

This often happens a lot when men are cheated on. Usually, the traditional man does not agree to cheating.

If one cheats on a man who considers himself traditional, it is highly unlikely that the relationship will recover. And if he recovers, it is very likely that it will no longer be maintained as a relationship at that time, because the breakdown of trust will cause the man to completely withdraw his commitment.

Read: Signs that your man is committed to you

3. You feel it is

What we feel is often the truth. This is especially true in cases where you have a gut feeling rather than just fear.

If, for example, you feel deep in your gut that something is not right, and that the dynamics of the relationship are not very favorable. Then you are likely in the relationship-situation rather than a relationship.

Most of the time, when I found myself in situations, I experienced long before that a very deep sense of ease and a very deep sense of dissatisfaction with what I was having with that lady.

This generally led me to ask questions, which leads me to the next thing I'm going to talk about.

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4. They don't give you definitive answers

That “what are we” question is often very embarrassing.

It's so embarrassing that guys would rather chew rocks than ask.

This is why the question is usually assumed to be for women.

But it really isn't. Even men ask that question; it is a very urgent question that is very deep in the lines.

And the best way to say it is that it is a very necessary question. Men and women have to come and ask themselves this question.

It will tell them if they are in a relationship or if they are in something temporary and not so deep.

If you ask your partner what you two are up to or what you two have going on and they respond with a very vague phrase, more like they're trying to avoid the question, then it's best to assume that they don't consider you that much. of a partner and that you are already in the situation.

This is often such a hard pill to swallow, especially when you've spent a lot of time and invested in what you thought was a relationship.

But as with many things around relationships, the sooner you know, no matter how hard it is, the better.

5. They are emotionally unavailable

Emotional unavailability is such a huge red flag.

It shows you that there really is nothing there. Constantly looking for answers and constantly looking for some kind of closure, that there is something in a relationship when your partner isn't even available to you emotionally is just lying to yourself.

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And you really don't have to lie to yourself. You are the last person you lie to.

Even if everyone lies to you, you must tell yourself the truth.

Read: What it means to be in a complicated relationship

6. They just got out of a relationship or are still in one

If you just got out of a relationship with someone or are currently in a relationship while promising you that it will end soon just so they can continue to be involved with you; then it's very likely that they won't even take you seriously in the first place.

You are just a tool for them and as such you are in a situation.

I can promise you that as soon as they get over the relationship or that heartbreak, they'll leave you alone, and you'll be left alone to tend to your wounds.

7. They don't want to be seen in public with you

This is especially true if she is the woman who does not want to be seen in public with you as a man.

Women tend to be quite expressive about their love for a man and often go out of their way to be seen with him; they will be proud of him.

If this pride is absent, it may be that this type of relationship is not exactly what the woman desires.


The situations are becoming more and more common. You don't want to get stuck in one.

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